Bondage in the bedroom hasn’t always been as ubiquitous as it seems today. Although elements of BDSM have been practiced as far back as Ancient Greece and Mesopotamia, it wasn’t until relatively recently that tying up your partner during sex became well-known or even socially acceptable.
As old-fashioned attitudes towards human sexuality wane, bondage play has gotten increasingly popular. But what makes this practice so erotic for some people? Find out why (plus how to bring it into your bedroom) with this guide from FunLove.com.
Why Do People Like Bondage?
Bondage is the practice of restraining, tying up, or binding a partner using implements like rope, cuffs, and bondage tape. There are many different degrees of bondage, all the way from furry handcuffs and blindfolds to hogties and ball gags. Contrary to popular belief, engaging in bondage is not always for sexual pleasure—for example, some people enjoy the Japanese art of Shibari for its aesthetic value, or even as part of a meditative practice. For our purposes, though, we’ll focus primarily on bondage in a sexual context.
However you practice bondage, it should always be a consensual, relationship-affirming experience for all partners. In addition, responsible kink should always include a safe word.
For some, this kind of power and control is sadomasochistic in nature; that is, it is a means to an end that allows them to inflict pain or humiliation on their sexual partner, or to use them as a sexual object. Surprisingly, some couples say this not only intensifies the sexual experience, but also deepens trust between romantic partners.
Other times, a dominant partner may be turned on just by seeing their partner tied up or by the confidence gained by being in control. Submissive bondage participants may enjoy the sense of helplessness that comes from being immobilized by a trusted partner. Alternatively, it may lessen some of their inhibitions to engage in certain sexual acts, since they are doing so in a passive role.
Emerging research has even suggested that BDSM activities can result in a kind of altered state of consciousness for both dominant and submissive partners. The bottom line: science still has a long way to go in truly understanding the many ways humans experience sexual pleasure. But in the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to do a little self-exploration…
5 Ideas for Bondage Play Beginners
Interested in mixing things up with your partner but need someone to show you the ropes? Fascinations has got you covered with these five vanilla-to-kinky ideas. Before you begin, be sure to have a conversation about what you both actually want out of bondage play, including personal boundaries and establishing a safe word. Another key to healthy BDSM practices is the principle of SSSC: sex that is safe, sane, sober, and consensual.
Start Small
Anytime you’re trying something new in the bedroom, it’s wise to test the waters before you cannonball in. If you or your partner has never experimented with bondage before, start small. Even just wearing a blindfold is a good way to lower your inhibitions around one another and put your partner in control. You’ll be surprised at how much sexual tension builds when you don’t know which sex toy or body part your partner will use next.
If sensory play isn’t your scene, you can also try light restraints at first, like handcuffs or ankle cuffs. Restraining just one part of the body at a time can keep the experience feeling safe until you work your way up to more intricate restraints.
Slip into Something a Little More Uncomfortable
Fetish apparel is where sexy lingerie and bondage play meet. Maybe you’re not ready to have all four limbs tied down to the bed quite yet, but a skin-tight harness, collar, and leash may be just what you’re looking for. Leaning into the dominance and submissive side of BDSM, this gives one partner more freedom to move around without the other partner giving up too much control—perfect for the submissive who likes to misbehave and the dominant who likes to discipline.
Get Knotty
Rope bondage is an often intricate art form, but you don’t need to take an entire class to learn how to tie up your lover. The single column tie is a very versatile and safe knot that requires just a bit of practice and patience—and once you get it down, you’ll find it’s the building block for most other rope bondage knots. You can get bondage rope made out of almost any fabric, including cotton, nylon, silk, and hemp.
Helpful hint: The single column tie is designed for both stability and safety. It should not unravel, but it also shouldn’t tighten when you pull on it. Experts still recommend investing in a pair of heavy duty shears in case you run into any knots that can’t be undone.
Try A Different Kind of Sex Tape
In the heat of the moment, you may not always have the time or patience to tie and untie knots. That’s where bondage tape comes in. This type of restraint is super easy to use and painless to remove or reposition, making it perfect for beginners. You can easily spice up old standbys like missionary position or doggy-style by bondage taping your partner’s arms or legs to the bedpost, a chair, or just about anywhere else.
Don’t Be Afraid to Switch Roles
While you might feel more drawn towards either submissive or dominant roles in the bedroom, don’t be afraid to mix things up. Not only does this keep your sex life from getting stale, it also allows partners to explore different sides of their sexuality. If you’re usually the one doing the tying, experiment with being the one who’s bound or gagged. If you’re used to fighting against the restraints but not holding the key to the handcuffs, see how the dynamic changes once you’re the one holding the whip.
Shop the Entire FunLove Bondage Play Collection
With the largest selection of BDSM and fetish toys in the industry and more than 30 years as a leading retailer of sensual products, rest assured you’ll always find what you’re looking for at FunLove.com.
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